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Sexual Harassment at Work

By: Jeff Durham - Updated: 21 Jun 2016 | comments*Discuss
 
What Constitutes Sexual Harassment At

The law makes it clear that sexual harassment is definitely not acceptable. Whilst there is no strict definition as to what constitutes sexual harassment, the Sex Discrimination Act gives you the legal right not to be sexually harassed at work and it is also unlawful to treat women (or men) less favourably because of their sex.

What Constitutes Sexual Harassment?

Sexual harassment constitutes any unwelcome behaviour of a sexual nature. It's not about fun or friendship but about the abuse of power. It is also worth bearing in mind that many people respond to situations in different ways. What may seem like an innocent action or remark to one person may be deemed offensive by another and the law sides with the 'victim' not the 'perpetrator'. Since there is no single definition, the test is how the recipient feels about the behaviour. Whilst men can also be subject to sexual harassment, the vast majority of cases have been by women against men. It is estimated that 50% of women in employment are, or have been, subject to sexual harassment of some form or other. It doesn't just happen to women who work in large offices or those who work within a predominantly male working environment; it can happen to people in any occupation, to any age group and from every community.

It can take place in many forms which can broadly be categorised in 3 groups:

Verbal

  • Comments about appearance, body or clothes
  • Indecent remarks
  • Questions or comments about your sex life
  • Requests for sexual favours
  • Sexual demands made by someone of the opposite sex, or even your own sex
  • Promises or threats concerning a person's employment conditions in return for sexual favours

Non-Verbal
  • Looking or staring at a person's body
  • Display of sexually explicit material such as calendars, pin ups or magazines

Physical
  • Physically touching, pinching, hugging, caressing, kissing
  • Sexual assault
  • Rape

What Can I do About Sexual Harassment?

In the first instance, you should try to confront the harasser. It may be that their perception of harassment is not the same as yours and they didn't realise you found their behaviour offensive. When you confront them you should:
  • Speak clearly and slowly, maintaining direct eye contact
  • Describe the behaviour, its effects on you and that you want it to stop
  • Ignore any attempts to trivialise or dismiss what you have to say
  • Don't smile or apologise. This will undermine your complaint
  • When you have finished what you want to say, walk away - the less you say, the more powerful you will be

However, you do need to speak up straight away. It may be that you choose a confidante, a colleague or union representative to give you moral support. They could also act as a witness to any incidents of improper behaviour.

If you feel you can't confront the harasser face to face, you might prefer to write to them to explain that their behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable and that you want it to stop. Keep a copy of the letter and let them know that if their behaviour persists, you will take the matter further.

Keep a Diary

Note down all the behaviour that offends you, the dates, times and location where the behaviour took place and if there were any other people present, keep a record of their names. This will help you if you need to make an official complaint.

What if it Continues?

Once you've confronted the perpetrator, if the behaviour continues you need to tell your employer. Many employers have a procedure - follow it. Your employer should investigate your complaint and deal with it. You have the right to take someone with you to any meetings about your complaint. They can back you up if necessary. Once again, keep a written record of everything that happens.

When and Why Should I Take my Case to a Tribunal?

Employment Tribunals are external committees who assess whether employers have acted unlawfully and seek to resolve the problem. You should go to a tribunal if:
  • The harassment continues after you've told the perpetrator to stop and you've reported it to your employer
  • The harasser owns the company and there's no-one else to complain to
  • If you are not happy with the way the investigation was handled and/or you are not satisfied with the outcome

You MUST File Your Complaint Within 3 Months of The Incident Taking Place.

The Employment Tribunals Commission and your local Citizen's Advice Bureau can offer you excellent guidance and advice about this type of complaint.

Sexual harassment at work threatens your confidence and self-esteem. It can stop you working effectively, undermines your dignity and it can affect your health and happiness.

Nobody should be subjected to it. Fortunately, a variety of laws exist to protect you.

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[Add a Comment]
The assistant manager of my workplace coerced me into sexual activity (which was against my sexual orientation) when I was in a vulnerable position. Our workplace has quite a social element and we often go out together as a team. when I was intoxicated and she offered to take me to my accommodation where she then initiated sexual contact. I'm an openly gay man and when I aired discomfort she told me I should try being with a woman as I might enjoy it. I ended up feigning nausea and when she eventually left she told me not to tell anyone what happened. I felt terriblyupset and now find it extremely awkward working with her as I feel as if she is deliberately making things difficult for me.
Hub - 21-Jun-16 @ 1:30 AM
Lors85 - Your Question:
My director put his hand up my skirt at xmas party. I was disgusted and voiced this to collegues but with no intention of making a complaint. However someone else has reported it twice and I have said not to take it further. 3rd time this collegue went to hr demanding something get done. (He's angry about dept redundacy and wants to highlight managers lack of managerial skills). Anyway I did confirm to hr it happened but I'm not making a complaint. They don't care they have to fully investigate. So now my director knows and I can't concentrate in work. How can I get through these last 3 months. I have anxiety that's making me freak out and panic. Can I get time off during investigation or early redundacy as I don't want a big sick note following me to next job.

Our Response:
You shouldn't be made to feel anxious - an incident of sexual harassment has rightly been reported on and acted upon. Explain to your line manager or a colleague in HR about your feelings and they might be able to help by moving you to another office. If you're being made redundant anyway, they might let you take "gardening leave"
SafeWorkers - 20-Jun-16 @ 2:43 PM
My director put his hand up my skirt at xmas party. I was disgusted and voiced this to collegues but with no intention of making a complaint.However someone else has reported it twice and I have said not to take it further. 3rd time this collegue went to hr demanding something get done.(He's angry about dept redundacy and wants to highlight managers lack of managerial skills). Anyway I did confirm to hr it happened but I'm not making a complaint.They don't care they have to fully investigate. So now my director knows and I can't concentrate in work. How can I get through these last 3 months. I have anxiety that's making me freak out and panic.Can I get time off during investigation or early redundacy as I don't want a big sick note following me to next job.
Lors85 - 19-Jun-16 @ 8:47 PM
I have been accused of sexual harassment where my personality of being open and flirty has got me in trouble.I believe at all time the conversations were consensual and I treated these colleagues as good friends. If these conversations were going on for 18 months etc and only reported now surely it must challenge the offence that was taken.Thoughts please
Stephen - 18-Jun-16 @ 2:57 PM
What if you're getting sexual harassed but you don't have any proof? Also the it's an independent business so they are all family but all doing it? I feel like a piece of meat working, no woman or no man should feel like that. I don't know what to do especially cause my hours are extremely long and I'm the only female worker..
Foodpalace - 17-Jun-16 @ 1:43 AM
Dancing behind a colleague on a dance floor. May have touch her bum. Not sure as in drink. Suspended from work. Is this a sackable offence
Sil - 9-Jun-16 @ 12:07 PM
My husband has been sexually harassed at his work place by his manager and his team leader, both of which are men. He was subjected to this for 1year and only told me about it recently,when both of them left the company to work in a different area. They would make inappropriate sexual remarks/ comments, they constantly stared at him whilst he worked, particularly looking as he bent over. For example as my husbands job involves heavy lifting he has to bend down constantly and both men would say things such as " how they would like to give him a good seeing to, and one would smell him and say his smells " good enough to eat. The manager also groped my husbands private area, then he laughed it off. There are quite a lot of other incidents aswell. My husband has since reported this to his new manager 3 weeks ago but no one has mentioned anything since. My husband has said to me that he felt very embarrassed and angry because he didn't report it sooner , but this was because he was in shock and didn't know how to react. What should we do next ?? Please could you give us some advice. I would appreciate it . Kelly.
Kel - 31-May-16 @ 11:24 PM
Nobody - Your Question:
I recently started a new job and I am still on probation. My assistant manager has been a bit over friendly but not what I would consider inappropriate. That is, until a few days ago. I was asked to come in for training and told I did not require uniform for this and so I wore a vest top because it was a warm day. He made a remarkable about the size of my breasts in front of another colleague. I was stunned and my colleague agreed that my breasts were in no way "on display" or "inviting". It has made me a little uncomfortable because I have to continue to work with him - and his girlfriend. I don't know how to approach the situation as I don't think he meant to offend me however I don't want him to think it is appropriate. Also, because I am still on probation, I would not want to risk losing my job.

Our Response:
You might want to take a look at our guide sexual harrassment: your questions answered where similar questions have been addressed.
SafeWorkers - 13-May-16 @ 12:49 PM
I recently started a new job and I am still on probation. My assistant manager has been a bit over friendly but not what I would consider inappropriate. That is, until a few days ago. I was asked to come in for training and told I did not require uniform for this and so I wore a vest top because it was a warm day. He made a remarkable about the size of my breasts in front of another colleague. I was stunned and my colleague agreed that my breasts were in no way "on display" or "inviting". It has made me a little uncomfortable because I have to continue to work with him - and his girlfriend. I don't know how to approach the situation as I don't think he meant to offend me however I don't want him to think it is appropriate. Also, because I am still on probation, I would not want to risk losing my job.
Nobody - 12-May-16 @ 3:52 PM
Me - Your Question:
I worked on night shift with a male, it was just the two of us, he started messaging me and calling me constantly, remarking on my looks every time he saw me. I had a back injury and he would put his hand down my top without my permission. When I was dealing with residents he would come in and adjust my underwear and pants. The last thing was he assaulted me, by grabbing me and kissing me, I resisted and he told me to stop and put my head up and held me tighter and kissed me again and for seven hours I thought I was going to be raped. My manager didn't have hr at the meeting and talked about taking a night off me.

Our Response:
If your employer has not treated this seriously, you should take it to an employment tribunal. You will always be advised to refer to ACAS before doing so. Our more detailed guide: Sexual Harrassment: Your Questions Answered gives a bit more advice/information.
SafeWorkers - 9-May-16 @ 12:01 PM
I work at a supermarket and this guy from a different department has been telling everyone that he had slept with me even though this is untrue. His lies make me feel uncomfortable to be at work because I don't know what else he has been saying and what other lies he could be spreading
. - 6-May-16 @ 11:28 PM
I worked on night shift with a male, it was just the two of us, he started messaging me and calling me constantly, remarking on my looks every time he saw me. I had a back injury and he would put his hand down my top without my permission. When I was dealing with residents he would come in and adjust my underwear and pants. The last thing was he assaulted me, by grabbing me and kissing me, I resisted and he told me to stop and put my head up and held me tighter and kissed me again and for seven hours I thought I was going to be raped. My manager didn't have hr at the meeting and talked about taking a night off me.
Me - 6-May-16 @ 1:12 PM
i was attacked by the mecanic in our company put his hands round my neck and pushed me backwards onto a desk i wrote statement he admitted it but not sure where it goes now i am in charge of him but dont want to ask him to do anything incase it happens again
al - 29-Apr-16 @ 1:37 PM
PT - Your Question:
I work in a gym so already it's a male dominated workplace. With mainly guys it can get very out of hand sometimes, the things they say about women not only on the gym floor but that are in the staff room (myself included) does get to us. Unwanted questions about sex lives are asked, if one of the girls talk over a certain 'lad' the response is usually 'shut your mouth before I make you choke on something' most days, the one 'ringleader' will strip off completely naked, for no other reason that he is 19 and thinks he is hillarious. Unfortunately 5 out of 10 of the guys egg him on and those 5 are in work a lot. this happens in the staff room where we EAT and come to take a break. He regularly will touch his genetalia and then walk up to people (myself included) and try and touch you with his hands. He will then sit and eat his food with his hands without washing them. He happens to be a 'rugby lad' and thinks it's okay to act like that in work. Last week I was about to do kickboxing with another male member, before leaving the staff room I jabbed him twice in the arm, not too hard but not exactly light. (I am a 5'3 girl and I have no prior experience with punches and the likes.) he seemed fine at this moment and 5 minutes later followed us out to the studio to watch us train. When I came back into the staff room my co worker (female) told me he said if she thinks she can punch me I can do this. Then proceeded to rub his genetals on my phone I left on charge. What should I do?

Our Response:
Report it to the manager of course. Please read the above article and our Guide: Sexual Harrassment, your questions answered
SafeWorkers - 28-Apr-16 @ 12:06 PM
I work in a gym so already it's a male dominated workplace. With mainly guys it can get very out of hand sometimes, the things they say about women not only on the gym floor but that are in the staff room (myself included) does get to us. Unwanted questions about sex lives are asked, if one of the girls talk over a certain 'lad' the response is usually 'shut your mouth before I make you choke on something' most days, the one 'ringleader' will strip off completely naked, for no other reason that he is 19 and thinks he is hillarious. Unfortunately 5 out of 10 of the guys egg him on and those 5 are in work a lot. this happens in the staff room where we EAT and come to take a break. He regularly will touch his genetalia and then walk up to people (myself included) and try and touch you with his hands. He will then sit and eat his food with his hands without washing them. He happens to be a 'rugby lad' and thinks it's okay to act like that in work. Last week i was about to do kickboxing with another male member, before leaving the staff room I jabbed him twice in the arm, not too hard but not exactly light. (I am a 5'3 girl and I have no prior experience with punches and the likes..) he seemed fine at this moment and 5 minutes later followed us out to the studio to watch us train. When I came back into the staff room my co worker (female) told me he said if she thinks she can punch me I can do this... Then proceeded to rub his genetals on my phone I left on charge. What should I do?
PT - 27-Apr-16 @ 1:23 PM
Hi I recently left my job as I was being sexually harassed for months I told the person to stop on several occasions and he still didn't. I'm 19 years old the bloke is 45, he would say thing to Me like he like looking at me and he would like me to stand in corner all day so he could stare and touch me when ever , he said things like he'd like to give me one even if I didn't like and sing songs saying my name and k was his type girl and plenty more . I took it to the store manger after suffering alone for 5 months as I got to the point of not being able to take it no more to scared to go to work not sleeping or eating I was that worried. The store took my notes and then came to the conclusion that he would not be asked he would work alongside me but been told he can not talk to me or even look at me. I still didn't feel Comfortable going to work with this out come I cried and cried my eyes out and refused to go to work , I then said I wasn't okay with the outcome I was so upset I just quit . I want to know if I can do any thing about this as apparently I'm not the first person he has done this to .
Mad - 21-Apr-16 @ 9:37 PM
I have recently walked out on my job as a sales assistant. My bosses were brother and sister,he would say sexual comments and things that were inappropriate.The sister knew as I told her when it started, she agreed it was sexual harassment.Although it continued to the point of me walking out of my job. This was in February 2016, what should I do?
Shorty - 11-Apr-16 @ 4:43 PM
BJ - Your Question:
Hi I have a very close friend who only recently left her hone in France to travel here to work as a French assistant at a very reputable and expensive private all girls school.A male colleague regularly began to say inappropriate things to her such as how he has a lot of money and that she should work as a prostitute to earn better money than as an assistant. I was talked out of confronting him about his behaviour as she was afraid of loosing her job because in France these kinds of sexual harassment are not taken seriously.Eventually she made it clear that she was not interested in him in any way. They both live next door to each other in school owned houses so he is never far away. One night after the staff all went out to the pub he offered to drive her home despite having had been drinking. She felt safe because she had already explained that she is not attracted to him and assumed that he would respect that. However after going to his house for a coffee he forced her to the floor, kissing her and touching her body. She fought back for about a minute thinking that he was going to rape her. Thankfully he gave up as she was resisting as much as she possibly could. He then angrily demanded to know why she wouldn't sleep with him before she had the chance to leave.A day later she told her languages head who is her main point of call for anything that she needs. Despite appearing upset about it she said that there is nothing they can really do. I feel like they aren't taking it seriously at all and are more concerned with the schools reputation being tarnished than keeping their staff and their students safe. He acts like nothing happened and she must work and live next door to him even after he has assaulted her. Apparently it is known that he is unprofessional as he has a reputation for always talking about sex with his female colleagues. I feel like the girls who he teaches are at high risk of being abused as it's a boarding school up to 18 years old of all girls.My friend feels like nobody cares or will take her seriously so she is too afraid to go to the police as she thinks that it will cost her the job which she loves. She wants to just forget about it but fears that he could target more vulnerable students as well as her again as he has already got away with it once I told her that her employer would take action as it's very serious here in the UK unlike France but they couldn't care any less. I feel daft for telling her how helpful the school would be. What else can she do to get them to take her seriously but without risking her job there? I warned her just based on the vernal abuse that he was a dangerous person and clearly he feels like he can get away with verbal and physical sexual harassment that could have been even more serious had she not fought back.Please reply to me as we are at such a kiss about what to do now. How can an all girls school get away with being so uninterested in allegations such as the

Our Response:
Tell your friend to go back to her department head and say that she wants it officially recording as a report of sexual harrassment and that she has worries about the girls at the school. If her department head will not take this further, then the head of the school followed by an employment tribunal are the next options (ACAS will be able to advise on these issues if you need to talk to someone about this on an individual basis). Please read this article for more detail
SafeWorkers - 1-Apr-16 @ 10:20 AM
Hi I have a very close friend who only recently left her hone in France to travel here to work as a French assistant at a very reputable and expensive private all girls school. A male colleague regularly began to say inappropriate things to her such as how he has a lot of money and that she should work as a prostitute to earn better money than as an assistant. I was talked out of confronting him about his behaviour as she was afraid of loosing her job because in France these kinds of sexual harassment are not taken seriously. Eventually she made it clear that she was not interested in him in any way. They both live next door to each other in school owned houses so he is never far away. One night after the staff all went out to the pub he offered to drive her home despite having had been drinking. She felt safe because she had already explained that she is not attracted to him and assumed that he would respect that. However after going to his house for a coffee he forced her to the floor, kissing her and touching her body. She fought back for about a minute thinking that he was going to rape her. Thankfully he gave up as she was resisting as much as she possibly could. He then angrily demanded to know why she wouldn't sleep with him before she had the chance to leave. A day later she told her languages head who is her main point of call for anything that she needs. Despite appearing upset about it she said that there is nothing they can really do. I feel like they aren't taking it seriously at all and are more concerned with the schools reputation being tarnished than keeping their staff and their students safe. He acts like nothing happened and she must work and live next door to him even after he has assaulted her. Apparently it is known that he is unprofessional as he has a reputation for always talking about sex with his female colleagues. I feel like the girls who he teaches are at high risk of being abused as it's a boarding school up to 18 years old of all girls. My friend feels like nobody cares or will take her seriously so she is too afraid to go to the police as she thinks that it will cost her the job which she loves. She wants to just forget about it but fears that he could target more vulnerable students as well as her again as he has already got away with it onceI told her that her employer would take action as it's very serious here in the UK unlike France but they couldn't care any less. I feel daft for telling her how helpful the school would be. What else can she do to get them to take her seriously but without risking her job there? I warned her just based on the vernal abuse that he was a dangerous person and clearly he feels like he can get away with verbal and physical sexual harassment that could have been even more serious had she not fought back. Please reply to me as we are at such a kiss about what to do now. How can an all girls school get away with being so uninterested in allegations such as the
BJ - 25-Mar-16 @ 3:05 AM
bex - Your Question:
I have a little job in an takeaway shop I have been working there for about 3 years I am the only female. My very good friend got me the job there I have never had any problems till tonight. Basically my friend left on sunday to go to a new career and also on holiday I had Monday off anyway so tonight was my first night in without my friend working there not just their day off but left completely and the owners friend who I've met before several times gave me a hug quite a tight hug and as he hugged me he squeezed my boob several times I'm trying to pull away but he wouldn't let go until I really forced back. I immediately rang my friend who is currently abroad no answer I txt them aswell and he responded as quick as he could. He knows the perpetrator which I have to say doesn't talk very good English none of them do really except my friend he said leave it with me to sort out. I trust him with my life but what I am asking is there anything I should do as it's a takeaway shop so not having a contract is harder.

Our Response:
You do have a contract even if you have not been given a copy of it. Talk to the owner and say you want this person warned (or dimissed if that's what you feel is appropriate). If the owner does nothing, you should file a formal grievance and contact ACAS on 0300 123 1100.
SafeWorkers - 23-Mar-16 @ 11:06 AM
Hi I have worked at my job for 3 years in witch I get sexualy harassed every day at work. I work at a school it happens in front of the kids at times. He touches me when I tell him not to he does it again all day. He says what he wants to do to me in a sexual nature.I turned him in. They are handling it very strongly. Yet I asked if my husband can sit in on the meetings with me. They said no! I explained time after time I was uncomfortable with all of this. They made me repeat the whole story 3 times. They even called in coworkers so they now know. It was all caught on camera. So my employers know it's not a lie. But I feel so guilty sad I feel bad for the guy I'm glad they are handling it. But at the same time I'm mad at this whole situation and my husband doesn't understand my feelings. And yet neither do I.
Amanda - 18-Mar-16 @ 2:24 PM
Hi I was spanked by a client( director of a company) in a building I work in. I reported to my manager and she claimed that she has spoken to a staff of the director and they will deal with it internally. I am not satisfied the way it was handled. Please advise what I should do and how this should be appropriately handle. Thanks
M - 11-Mar-16 @ 8:19 PM
Hi I was spank by a client(director of a company) in the building I work in. I report to my manager and she claim that she spoke to a staff of the director and they will deal with it internally. I am not satisfied by the way it was handled as I know that the staff will be too scared to speak to her director. Please advise what I should do and how it should be handle? Thanks
M - 11-Mar-16 @ 8:16 PM
I have a little job in an takeaway shop I have been working there for about 3 years i am the only female. My very good friend got me the job there I have never had any problems till tonight. Basically my friend left on sunday to go to a new career and also on holiday I had Monday off anyway so tonight was my first night in without my friend working there not just their day off but left completely and the owners friend who I've met before several times gave me a hug quite a tight hug and as he hugged me he squeezed my boob several times I'm trying to pull away but he wouldn't let go until I really forced back. I immediately rang my friend who is currently abroad no answer I txt them aswell and he responded as quick as he could. He knows the perpetrator which I have to say doesn't talk very good English none of them do really except my friend he said leave it with me to sort out. I trust him with my life but what I am asking is there anything I should do as it's a takeaway shop so not having a contract is harder.
bex - 9-Mar-16 @ 1:19 AM
I have this person I work with he is a supervisor he keeps asking me outand I tell him no all the time. He inappropriately touches me all the time and says inappropriate things to me.I tell him I don't like it but he coutines to do it whenever he is working I don't want to be in. I have told the manger but nothing has changed what should I do
Saz - 21-Feb-16 @ 9:22 PM
Hi, last year I was accused of inappropriately touching a underage employee. It never happened and everything is on camera and the owner told me that her father wanted to go to the police. I told him to go to the police because nothing ever happened at all. The owner falsely accused me and never fired the girl for lieing. I still had to work there and with her,being the manager I felt helpless. I am supposed to start working back there again(it's a seasonal job) and had a person say as I was shopping at a local grocery store say "isn't that the child molester fromsuch n such. I feel like my name is been drug through the mud all because my boss the owner didn't handle the situation properly.She kept her job even after false accusations which made her look like she was telling the truth.
Jimmy - 12-Feb-16 @ 6:18 PM
I was sexually assaulted, bullied and intimidated by my supervisor at work. It all happened few years ago and I politely confronted him to stop it and ever since then he has been intimidating and bullying me at work, looking all over the places to see where am working to come over there to insult me and make me do jobs over and over again. I will be crying and working, can't sleep at home just because of the pains am going through at work, my partner is equally devastated seeing me crying all night. I have reported the case but the investigation officers are trying to cover up for him by delaying the investigation without no outcome.I have decided not to give up until I get justice. I have never been diagnosed or treated of high blood pressure but as am writing now, I have been placed on severe and serious medications. Please what steps can I take in order to get the right justice and put the supervisor to where he belongs. Thanks
Tina - 15-Jan-16 @ 4:45 PM
Salj- Your Question:
I work in a small cafe, one of my bosses who own the cafe is very inappropriate in his humour and flirtatious. However he is like this with not only me, but other employees and customers but nobody questions anything as that's just what he's like. He is almost 3 times my age so I have never taken anything personally, neither has any of the other employees as he is a joker. However we were working alone one day and he was making more remarks than usual and started becoming closer to me physically. He then touched my leg and bum, then reached to my upper leg and private area, I told him that was enough when he asked "was that too far". He then continued however after me saying it was not funny. He walked away and laughed, I awkwardly laughed too as I was nervous and didn't know how to respond. He then came back and tried to get my hand to touch what he was implying to be his penis over his trousers, I pulled away and said no. He walked away again and then brief comments were made about the situation by him. I now feel as if maybe me laughing lead him on or because I wasn't stern enough he thought I was joking? I don't want to report anything as he has a wife and children but I don't want to return to where I work as I feel physically sick and I can't sleep as it's always on my mind. I feel guilty as I know many have had a worse situation but I feel so unclean and violated. I would quit but I don't have a good enough reason to tell his lovely wife, my second boss who also runs the cafe without having to return and see him, something I really don't want to do.

Our Response:
You could simply address this with him, saying how it made you feel and that it was unacceptable. It may be sufficient to put a stop to it and to get things back to normal between you. However, this kind of behaviour does need to be stopped and if you're not comfortable addressing it with the man in question or lodging an official complaint, then you might tryhaving a conversation with the boss. It may be that the situation can be resolved subtly and without his wife knowing of it.
SafeWorkers - 14-Dec-15 @ 2:08 PM
I work in a small cafe, one of my bosses who own the cafe is very inappropriate in his humour and flirtatious. However he is like this with not only me, but other employees and customers but nobody questions anything as that's just what he's like. He is almost 3 times my age so I have never taken anything personally, neither has any of the other employees as he is a joker. However we were working alone one day and he was making more remarks than usual and started becoming closer to me physically. He then touched my leg and bum, then reached to my upper leg and private area, I told him that was enough when he asked "was that too far". He then continued however after me saying it was not funny. He walked away and laughed, I awkwardly laughed too as I was nervous and didn't know how to respond. He then came back and tried to get my hand to touch what he was implying to be his penis over his trousers, I pulled away and said no. He walked away again and then brief comments were made about the situation by him. I now feel as if maybe me laughing lead him on or because I wasn't stern enough he thought I was joking? I don't want to report anything as he has a wife and children but I don't want to return to where I work as I feel physically sick and I can't sleep as it's always on my mind. I feel guilty as I know many have had a worse situation but I feel so unclean and violated. I would quit but I don't have a good enough reason to tell his lovely wife, my second boss who also runs the cafe without having to return and see him, something I really don't want to do.
Salj - 14-Dec-15 @ 1:04 AM
I work for a very small family company and normally results in me working with the owner by myself a few evenings a week, he has been making comments since starting working for him over a year ago which was making me feel really uncomfortable, however there is no one else around so i couldn't really say anything i left for 6 month and my contract ended and I didn't have another job and he offered me my job back so I had no choice to take it until I find another job however over the past 2/3 weeks he has been locking the door and disconnected the security cameras and touching my breasts and pulling my top down and kissing my breasts, feeling my bottom and pulling me on top of him when i say no to him he continues and says he needs to because it makes him happy, now every time am in the shop with him by himself he does it and trys to take it a little bit further I have tried telling him to stop however he says if I don't i will lose my jobhowever there nothing I can do because I have no evidence that he is doing this because he turns the cameras of and theirs nobody else in the shop
llouise - 28-Nov-15 @ 3:08 AM
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